Is it just me, or does time seem to be passing ever faster than it ever did before?  It seems like just yesterday I was a much younger woman, full of dreams and high aspirations for the future.  I was also in the best physical shape of my life, but I was in a very competive physical sport when I was in my late teens/early 20's.  And boy, do I feel it now, that I'm in my 40's.

Not to say I'm in terrible shape now, actually I'm close to my competetion weight, plus or minus 5 extra pounds.  I'm in a size 5 again for the first time in God knows how long, but I had to work my butt off to shed those 40+ pounds I gained.  I ate whatever I wanted and never worried about weight gain, cholesterol, high blood pressure or any of the other health risks we're warned about by the "Boob Tube" and other forms of media daily.  Well, I say, if you feel good, poop on those nay-sayers of enjoying life.

I freely admit it's harder to get out of bed in the morning, and I feel aches in pains in places I didn't realize I had now, but no worries.  I have more gray in my hair than I'd like, but hair color has been my friend since I was 25, and they made their first apperance on my head.  I'm old-fashioned in my moral standards and beliefs, and have become very set in my ways.  I'm independent, opinionated, outspoken and very confident in my abilities.  Apparently that just scares the bejesus out of men.  I refuse to be subservient to anyone, why should I have to be?  So, I'm not 25 anymore, I wouldn't want to be.  I'm seeing that age clearly again through my son and son-in-law, who are that age, and my daughter, who's close.  Yep, I was able to do more then I'm capable of now physically, so what?  I relish taking my afternoon naps, when time allows.  I slow down and take in the scenery of life now, rather than being so rushed as to simply let it  pass by.  I laugh and smile every chance I get, and am unafraid to hug someone and tell them I care.  The little things in life are precious to me more than ever, maturity has taught me that mindset.

I've loved and lost, seen dear friends and family members pass away, yet I am driven to make the best out of my life.  My existence thus far has been one that some people absolutely envy.  I've been to a few interesting places, met incredible people, and done things they could only imagine.  And yes, I still have dreams and aspirations for my future.  I gave up on finding Prince Charming, his horse must have broken down on the way to find me, but that's okay.  With my losses in the relationship departent, I've decided I'm too much of a challenge for the average male.  Besides, why settle for average?  I'm exceptional, and I expect the same in return.  Whether or not I ever find it isn't something I choose to dwell on anymore.  Whoever said a woman needs a man to be a complete person anyway?  I get my fullfillment from my career, my family, my friends, and most of all myself.  I'm at peace with the person I've become, and if that one true love isn't in the cards, so be it.  I still have hope, and isn't that the most important thing of all?

I know it sounds selfish and egotistical to write this way about myself, but I think I've earned that privilege.  How a person handles adversity defines who they are, and I seem to always land on my feet eventually.  Despite the fact that  I've hit a major bump in the road of life right now, you can be rest assured that I will bounce back.  It's just taking longer than I anticipated to get where I want to be, but I'm determined to get there, no matter what.  Forget about the signs of aging, don't look too far back except for reflection, look forward, be yourself and strive for true inner contentment.  I promise to make a valiant attempt at that goal too.